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Post-Recall Promotions at IKEA Involve Eating Everything

In attempts to recover from recent health and safety scandals involving fecal bacteria and horsemeat, IKEA is offering a few shop-and-dine specials. First, you can get a breakfast plate and cup of coffee for free on June 16, for Father’s Day.

Second, IKEA is holding what they call a “Midsommar Smorgasbord”, literally encouraging members and smorgasbord enthusiasts to come and stuff their faces with Swedish delights until they can stuff no more, for the low price of $9.99 (for members, $12.99 for non-members).

Finally, upon purchase of at least $150 of some-assembly-required furniture and furnishings, IKEA will deduct the value of any food you eat after your long hike through their store from your furniture bill. This offer is valid any Thursday or Saturday of June.

There are basically no limits on this second offer, as long as you take advantage of it on a day IKEA is supporting it. Theoretically, you could eat enough Swedish meatballs and lingonberry sauce to pay off your particleboard haul.

However, if you decide to partake in these furniture-sponsored feasts, it is not recommended that you attempt to test this theory. Considering that one standard meatball plate contains 15 meatballs, mashed potatoes, cream sauce, and lingonberries for $4.99, you would have to eat about 30 plates to get your $150 back, or 450 meatballs. With mashed potatoes, cream sauce, and lingonberries. I wonder if your family could sue for wrongful death if you ate yourself to death at an IKEA?